Monday brings us so many things – a new work week, a desire to relive the weekend, and a brand-new excerpt from my upcoming memoir, “Shattered: Memoirs of an Amnesiac.” You can go to Amazon to pre-order the Kindle version, or keep sitting tight: the trade version and other eBook formats will be available soon! Keep checking Amazon or this blog for purchasing updates.
As a warning: This excerpt mentions self-harm in a somewhat graphic way. This is what happened, and is an important part of the story line, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t warn everyone that yes, I have caused harm to my body in the past. With that being said, here is this week’s excerpt from “Shattered,” which tries to sheds some light into the darkness I’d been thrown into after my brain injury, and introduces a strange, enigmatic figure:
As November’s warmer temperatures began to give way to a colder, harsher December, I found myself at a random spot in the woods. I had no idea how I had arrived there, but there I was. I was losing track of time and space. I didn’t even know that I had been sending emails to Starlight Boy through a secret account, but one afternoon, I opened up my computer and found the electronic paper trail. Starlight Boy has told me that he knew me too well to let go. He knew that I loved him, and if he came to get me – would I go with him?
I had, apparently, responded with an enthusiastic yes.
But I had no memory of sending any of those emails.
The amnesia was worse than I had thought. I couldn’t remember anything at all.
That night, I sliced through one of my wrists with a razor blade and bled all over the living room carpet. The next night, I took a hammer to my other wrist, bashed it over my wrist bone, and then broke a kitchen chair. I didn’t recall doing those things, but my wrists and that chair – as well as Toby – told me the stories.
I was slipping. I had slipped. This wasn’t the life Toby had hoped for. I couldn’t be the wife he wanted.
During the first frigid week of December – nearly one month after saying goodbye to Starlight Boy – I disappeared.
Nobody, including me, had known where I was.
But when I came back, I told Toby that I’d met a girl named Ruby, and she had sent me out into the woods. Petrified that I had been injured, or that another form of amnesia had truly seized my brain, Toby took me to the county hospital, and within hours, they deemed my situation an emergency and transported me back to Brook Lane.
That time, I could not recall the fact that I had been in Brook Lane before. I was no longer myself. Whoever I had been, whoever I had been trying to recover, was gone.
I was a stranger to everybody – and, worst of all, to myself.
(For more excerpts from “Shattered: Memoirs of an Amnesiac,” please check back every Monday at 10 am. And pick up your pre-order for Kindle today right here on Amazon!)